Needed a break...

I never expected this journey to be so difficult... so draining.

I needed a break.

I found the anger became too powerful of a force, it took too much out of me. I needed to step away for a little while to regain some perspective.
My "hunt" became my life and my life became my hunt.

It changed me. Maybe not for the better. My anger is now closer to the surface. 20 something years of hiding it, and now I have brought it back to the surface. I think I may be ill equipped to deal with so much emotion. To meter so much anger.

I know the simple answer is to "forgive" and not hate, but from where I am sitting that would take super human strength. Maybe hate is so much easier.

When I get on my motorcycle I feel myself trying to outrun the same old demons. 180, 220, 260... never fast enough.

I wonder who got the better of who....

Thumbs up to Google!

Two thumbs up to Google.

Every site I have reported to them has been pulled very quickly. I am happy with Googles response to Pedophilia on the internet!

____________

Hi, Thank you for bringing this to our attention. We have removed the post in question and reported it to the proper authorities. We appreciate your assistance in maintaining the quality of our index and hope you will contact us if you encounter these types of results in the future. Regards,
The Google Team

Original Message Follows: ------------------------
From: onefastbike@gmail.com Subject: Online Abuse Report Date: Sat, 24 Feb 2007 11:33:09 -0000 Reporting IP: 65.222.100.252 Abuse: content Source: message Group: alt.support.boy-lovers URL: http://groups.google.com/group/alt.support.boy-lovers/msg/d3371d0b7289e1c0 Region Code: US Language Code: en Gaia ID: 414551139087

More Sickness found

I have found a few sites that I need help taking down.

Any help would be appreciated!

http://www.yokomodel.com/

Here the pervs are distributing using torrents:

http://thepiratebay.org/tor/3502991/www.archive.leslie-model.com______Full_Site_Rip

more listed here

http://www.greatestjournal.com/users/velcro_romance/92159.html

Another Site Down!

http://pedfun.livejournal.com/

Keep up the good work!

I Got Banned!

So I got banned from MaleSurvivor. Or as they put it "a 10 day vacation". They also said I sould email them "my thoughts" before I return.

Now besides the fact that this is a site which I had paid access to (AND they billed me twice), they tout themselves to be all about helping victims and healing.

I got banned for:

• posting a link to my site
• offering to host a page for anyone who wanted/needed to expose their perp
• publicly commenting on a mods actions

Ok, the first two I can almost understand. Its not my site and those are their rules. But that last reason/rule is too scary for me. MS is starting to sound like a perp themselves. "We will do this to you, but you are in trouble if you tell anyone".

Does anyone else see a problem with this besides me? Does this behaviour offend anyone besides me? I can se a mod needing to lock or move a post, but banning someone because they comment about said action in another unrelated thread is a little militant.

What the Mods of MS fail to recognize is everyone heals in their own way, at their own pace. They way I chose to heal is to speak out about my perp. To speak out about my sexual assault, about all sexual assault. To help prevent other children from being hurt.

In the eyes of MS that makes me a radical. An unwanted element.

MS was a great site. I learned a lot there. I made some "online friends" there. I think I may have even helped one or two people there.

I think back to some of the very personal stuff I posted there, and am now very shocked to find out that one of the mods there is a Police Officer.

That is kinda creepy to me. It makes me feel a little violated. I'm not sure why. I have nothing against the police. Some of my best friends and my sister are police officers. I just wonder why they have a "cop on staff"..... Something to think about later I guess.

So the very site that is all about healing and helping uses thier forum as a weapon to control the masses. There are those out there that use that forum as their only form of support. could you image the state that someone would be in if that rug were pulled out from under them for what could be a very minor infraction? Someone who has already been hurt. Someone who is already suffering, and now their only support system is taken away?

SHAME SHAME SHAME

I don't think they deserve the power they yield. I don't think they have their members best interestes in mind.

I still visit the site. I still post under a new name. Not so much out of a need, but more to make a point. I hate being told what I can/can't do. Anyone with an ounce of net savy knows there is no way to ban someone from an online forum. What is sad is that if I hadn't taken those steps I would never have known that an "online friend" had suffered a major illness.

Elderly Ontario priest convicted of abuse dies in jail

retired Roman Catholic priest convicted of abusing dozens of girls throughout southwestern Ontario has died, the Crown attorney who prosecuted him told CBC News.
Charles Sylvestre, of Belle River, Ont., was just three months into a three-year prison term in Kingston when he died in the prison hospital late Monday, Paul Bailey said Tuesday.
The cause of death was not immediately known, but he had been suffering from dementia. Sylvestre, 84, pleaded guilty in August to indecently assaulting 47 girls between 1954 and 1986. His victims were between seven and 15 at the time of the abuse.
Support workers to help victims cope with news
Bailey said he is putting together a team of support workers to help victims cope with the news of the priest's death.
"The problem is that although it's not rational to think this way, some of the survivors may feel responsible," he told CBC News.
"Those real feelings need to be dealt with and supported, and we need to discuss the entire episode so they don't feel responsible." Officials with the Roman Catholic Diocese of London, Ont., said in a written statement that Bishop Ronald Fabbro has directed all parishes to offer special prayers for Sylvestre's victims and their families. He has also asked for prayers for Sylvestre's family.

More Scum Exposed

Former teacher/priest charged with sexual assault,

Patrick Callaghan, 58

Broadcast time: 15:03
Tuesday, November 1, 2005
Sex Crimes Unit
416−808−7446

In October 2005, a man contacted the Toronto Police Service to report that, in 1985, a former
teacher and Catholic priest had sexually assaulted him.

The Sex Crimes Unit began an investigation. It is alleged that:
· the accused befriended the 17−year−old victim and his family,
· in December 1985, the victim was at the accused’s home and the accused committed a
sexual assault on the victim,
The accused is no longer an employee of the Toronto Catholic District School Board. At the
time of the alleged offence, he was a Catholic priest and teacher at Frances Libermann High
School in Scarborough.
On Monday, October 31, 2005, Patrick Callaghan, 58, of Kingston, was arrested and charged
with one count of Sexual Assault. He was released from custody on a recognizance with
conditions and is scheduled to appear in room 111, at Old City Hall on Tuesday, December
20, 2005.
Anyone with information is asked to contact Detective Wendy Leaver at 416−808−7446, or
Crime Stoppers anonymously at 416−222−TIPS (8477),

___________________________________________________________


OPP charges Vatican official with assault
CTV.ca News Staff

A retired Canadian priest who once held a senior post at the Vatican and was a close friend of Pope John Paul II is wanted by police on sex abuse charges.

The Ontario Provincial Police have charged Msgr. Bernard Prince, 71, for allegedly assaulting an altar boy in the 1960s, but the priest has not responded to an arrest warrant.

Prince is charged with buggery and indecent assault on a boy who was 12 when the alleged assaults occurred. Prince was a parish priest at the time.

The complaint, which stemmed from a visit to Prince's home more than 35 years ago, was received by police in May 2005. Prince was working at the Vatican when the investigation began.

The OPP obtained an arrest warrant for Prince. But the retired priest, who lives near Rome, Italy, has not responded to the warrant, according to OPP spokesperson Sgt. Kristine Rae-Cholette.

Prince has not been arrested and police are waiting to see what Prince will do next.

"We give him the opportunity to see if he's going to come back on his own," Rae-Cholette told CTV.ca. "If he doesn't then investigators have to take what they have and decide if they are going to seek outside assistance."

Extradition proceedings have not been launched. Canada has an extradition treaty with Italy, but not with Vatican City, which is its own state. An extradition can take a long time to complete and officers have no guarantees of success.

If Prince retreats to the tiny Catholic state, the Crown prosecutor might be powerless to get him in front of a Canadian judge.

If he stays in Italy he may be extradited by authorities, who have shown a willingness to enforce their treaties with the West and arrest wanted members of the clergy.

Father Prince, who was known to arrange for fellow Canadians to meet his friend Pope John Paul II, said from his home in Rome Wednesday that he had heard via a third party that there was an allegation of "wrongdoing," but that he had not been contacted by police.

The Globe and Mail reported that Father Prince declined to discuss the case, but that he has retained a lawyer, the same lawyer who represents his Ontario diocese -- the Catholic Diocese of Pembroke.

Father Prince, who no longer works for the Vatican, would not say if he was planning to return to Canada to face the charges.

"I have no idea. I can't say anything right now," he was quoted as saying in The Globe.

Police are also investigating several more allegations against the priest from Ontario communities where he worked in the 1960s and 70s.

Rae-Chollette could not say how many complainants have come forward. However, she said Prince lived in several Ontario communities including Wilno, Ottawa, Pembroke, Arnprior, Toronto and Kingston as well parts of the U.S.

He rose through the ranks of the Roman Catholic Church to work at the Vatican, where he retired last year.

Too Close To Home

Reverend on kid porn rap

Police seek public help after St. Andrew's Parish leader charged over collection of images,
videosBy ROB LAMBERTI AND CHRIS DOUCETTE, SUN MEDIA


A Toronto reverend is charged after police seized a collection of child pornography involving kids as young as 5.
The suspect was arrested Wednesday following a complaint from someone who witnessed the man possessing some material, police alleged.
Police said they recovered a number of videos and photographs of children believed to be aged between 5 and 17.
RECOGNIZE SOME
"The sex crimes unit recognizes some of the images," Det.-Const. Amy Bjerknes said yesterday.
But the 51 Division officer said investigators fear local children may also have been filmed. She said the images involve both male and female victims never before seen by police and investigators are anticipating that both victims and witnesses will be coming forward.
"Sometimes these investigations have a tendency to grow and that's why we're seeking assistance in locating victims," she said. "We're requesting victims or witnesses come forward." She asks them to call police at 416-808-5100.
Frederick Patrick Dunleavy, 65, is charged with possessing child pornography.
Dunleavy, a native of Brockville, was ordained as a reverend in 1989 by the Old Roman Catholic Church, which is not affiliated with the Roman Catholic Church.

BLOOR-SHERBOURNE

Dunleavy is in charge of St. Andrew's Parish, which holds mass in an Anglican church on Bloor St. E. at Sherbourne St.
A person who answered the phone at the parish's Bleecker St. headquarters yesterday quickly hung up.
The website for the Old Roman Catholic Church in Ontario said Dunleavy received religion at York University and the University of Toronto's St. Michael's College.
According to an online story in the Interdenominational News, Dunleavy has performed hundreds of same-sex marriages.

Got Tired of Being Edited

So I got tired of Big Brother editing my posts...

Here is my solution!

http://www.keith-ambrose.com/phpBB3

Can I ask a favor?

Can I ask that people add my website link to thier sites?

I am really shooting for a higher Google Rank.

All help is VERY appreciated.

http://www.keith-ambrose.com

Another Response to Daniel

Thank you for taking the time t repond to my posts. I find your posistion well thought out and you are obviously very intelligent and well written.

I have read your comments and I am not sure on where to begin commenting. I'n not going to reply point by point, but I will address your main assertion.

It has been proven that human sexuality is defined at birth. This is also a point driven by the homosexual community.

By age 11-12 my sexuality was alreay well defined. I am hetro. As a matter of fact at age 11-12 young males start to develop thier "types" of women. It is at that age that your preferance for large breasts, round butts, red hair ect. are decided. You can even say imprinted.

So as a young male (obviously HETRO) being sexually assaulted (can I use the word RAPED?) by a male would obviously cause DISGUST, ANGER, and everything else I outlines in my previous post. It is not a grown man's posistion in life to assert his sexuality on

• a young person who has already defined their sexuality
• a person who is too yunge to understand sexuality, never mind define it
• any child who CAN NOT legally consent to sexual contact
• ANYONE who does not WANT their sexual contact.

Rape is rape no matter how you color it. No matter what label you put on it. Call them Pedophiles, Boy Lovers, whatever. They are all rapists (of the worst kind).

I am not looking to gain any sympathy from the ProPedo groups around here. My posts are strictly to express what I am feeling. To give a voice to what I have been feeling for so many years.

I have no delusions of "cleaning up cyber space". The fact is that if evey ProPedo site was magicly shut down over night, there would still be Pedos out there. My "Cyber Tracking" is really only maybe 5% of what I actually do to stop Pedophiles from hurting children.
I am VERY active in the "real world" in hunting and exposing Pedophiles. After being a victim of one you learn how they operate. You learn where they hunt. You learn their tactics. Sometimes you get enough evidence to get the police involved. Sometimes you have to approach the cilds parents with your evidence and they have to get the poilice involved. And one the rare occasion you have to do what has to be done.

I believe in cleaning up my own back yard before I go worrying about my neighbours.

There are 2 very basic truths working here:

• a Zebra can't change it's stripes
• and a Pedophile will ALWAYS offend

THAT is what makes them predictable and easy to catch. They are easy targets for anyone who cares to look. Now with registered sex offender registries it is like shooting fish in a barrel.

Below is a comment made in response to my "Pedophilia is Equal to Homicide". I will add my response below:

Dear Pedophile Hunter / Madman -I would like to ask you where all this pain and anger comes from. Directly after the act/s, did you feel as seriously victimised as you do now? If you were repeatedly raped, I can imagine that to some extent, you did. If not, I guess that the guilt and pain grew, as you were told of the true extent of what your encounter was 'meant' to be like.The level of harm caused after non – violent sexual encounters early in life depends largely on how the acts are viewed by you and the people / society around you. If you have come to associate such an act with pain, guilt, dirtiness, immorality, regardless of how it felt at the time, the memory will indeed 'scar' your mind for life, and may even cause secondary symptoms such as depression. Without the memory of the act/s, I can imagine that you would be feeling a lot better, i.e. the pain that you feel, I am guessing was caused socially, after the event/s, as opposed to biologically / psychologically at the time of the event/s. This even goes for rape to some extent, although such trauma is obviously quite naturally disturbing for anyone.What I am basically saying, though, is that if you were to challenge the social ideas that lead to this pain, I'm sure you could reclaim some of this lost ground rather fast, and maybe even reach a position of indifference (if you were, indeed not forced). There are many other people who have had non-violent, or even initially traumatic encounters, who claim to have enjoyed it when it was done on their own terms, or otherwise come out none the worse - Allen Ginsberg for example. I imagine that these people were naturally less susceptible to dogmas, and/or were barely interfered with after the act/s.The best thing for you to do, is not to side with fanatics like Llort, though. What else will it do, but inflame those memories and re-enforce those ideals that have created your lifelong mental scar? Would you be helping anyone, by battering and enraging these supposed target men, who will always be at arm's length, thanks to technology? Remember, you cannot incapacitate a pedophile via the internet, unless you play it like Mr von Erck. If you seriously think that the pedophiles in this community are dangerous, you are most certainly picking the wrong option, and moreover, a dangerous option by electing to gain revenge by tormenting them.Kind Regards,Daniel.

I'm not sure where to begin Daniel. So I will begin with me and what I KNOW.

My parents had just split. I was desperate for male affirmation in my life. My grade 6 teacher new another teacher who was also a Boy Scout Leader and always welcomed new helpers to his A.V. club.
At first things were great. He showered me with the attention and approval I needed. I now know he was grooming me. He developed trust. He was the first male adult to ever show any interest in ME.
He then began to violate that trust. It shatter me emotionally. I HATED what he was doing to me, but I NEEDED his friendship. In the mind of an 11/12 year old I was able to rationalize that as horrible that I felt about what he was doing to me I could "phase out" or "ignore" what he was doing. That I could make the good outweigh the bad. My behavior began to change. My grades dropped. I became angry and began carrying knives. My final intent was to stab him. I wanted to kill him, but couldn't because he was "my friend". My rage turned inward. I stopped trusting. He held me captive in his sauna foe 2 hours one night. My knife was in my pants. When I was finally ALLOWED to get dressed I was too much of a coward to do what NEEDED to be done.

So you want to debate the age of consent? At age 11/12 was I mature enough to make the right decisions? NO. I have lived with the shame of my cowardace my whole life. I have over trained in the Martial Arts to the point of having Black Belts in 4 Arts. I joined the Special Forces. All in an effort to erase my SHAME.

Well Now I am 35 and KNOW the SHAME does not belong to me. It belongs to HIM. KEITH AMBROSE.
Now it is HIS turn to feel SHAME. To feel fear. When I am done there isn't going to be a place on this earth that doesn't know this animals name and face. His neighbours now know. His employer now knows. His co-workers now know. I have posted fliers in every community center in his toen and in every convienience store. I have taken out classified ads in local papers looking for past and current victims. I have found many.

So if in your opinion I am doing something wrong, I am sorry and I hope the treatment for your mental illness goes well.

Boylove is ABNORMAL. These children CANNOT consent. It is up to ADULTS to be PRESENT and ON GUARD at all times. It is up to able bodied (and mined) people to stop this sickness from spreading over the internet. To drive these sick people back under the radar. To take thier voice away.

Pedophilia Is Equal To Homicide

I think Pedophiles should be treated as the criminals they are. As murderers. "Boy Love" is not a victimless crime. It is not "normal". More resources need to be focused on tracking down these animals.

My perp KILLED me. For over 20 years I have been emotionally dead. In many ways that is truly worse than being deceased. To be void of emotion. To be unable to connect with anyone. To not be able to feel compasion. To not be able to cry at sad movies, or laugh in joy.
My smiles were so rare that people would actually comment when I would "truly" smile (not that fake one I wore for others benifit)

Well I am reincarnated. I am getting stronger every day.

Every swipe I take at my perp the stronger I feel. The more alive I feel.

I wonder if he is scared. I wonder if his friends and family have shunned him yet.

I don't think I'll stop until I drive him to either kill himself or turn himself in.

One way or another HE WILL STOP OFFENDING!

Another Reason To Be On Guard!

Four years after his disappearance in rural Missouri, 15-year-old Shawn Hornbeck was found by police seeking another missing boy. Paul Harris reports on a remarkable day of emotional family reunions.

They are America's lost children. Their faces stare from milk cartons or heart-wrenching handwritten posters. They are on websites set up by parents appealing for sightings. Too often they remain missing. Or they are found dead.
But yesterday, something amazing happened. Two of America's missing children reappeared safe and well, having been rescued by police some 24 hours earlier. Their story has gripped the nation, not least because one of the boys had last been seen on an autumn day more than four years ago.

Both the Missouri boys have been reunited with their families amid scenes of high emotion. The man alleged to have kept them in his home - a pizza restaurant manager and part-time funeral home worker named Michael Devlin - has been charged with kidnapping. He is in jail and is being held on one million dollars' bail.
Battered by headlines about political wrangling at home and violence in Iraq, Americans have been rejoicing in a welcome dose of good news. A poster on the school stage where Hornbeck's parents addressed the media seemed to sum up the entire country's feelings: 'Miracles do happen,' it said. Another read: 'Welcome home, Shawn. We missed you.'
A miracle certainly seems to have happened for both of the boys' families. Hornbeck, then 11 years old, was last seen riding his bike to a friend's home in rural Missouri in the American Midwest on 6 October, 2002. He simply vanished and was feared kidnapped by a murderer or sexual predator. After weeks, months and finally years passed, most people assumed he had joined the long list of America's lost children. His family held a vigil every year on the anniversary of his disappearance in a bid to keep his case in the public mind. But even supporters would admit that it felt more like a memorial to a lost son.
Incredibly, neither of the missing boys turned up more than 60 miles from where they had disappeared. Ownby was apparently abducted after getting off a school bus on his way home last Monday afternoon. He was last spotted heading down a gravel road towards his home. He never arrived.
After the police were alerted by his frantic parents, they received a further report about a suspicious-looking dilapidated white pick-up truck. The vehicle had been spotted by a friend of Ownby's who had got off the school bus at the same time as him and then saw the truck racing off.
By Thursday night, police officers had traced a van which appeared to match the description to a suburban St Louis apartment belonging to Devlin. They raided the home on Friday morning and found the two boys.
According to police sources, when the officers entered the apartment, Ownby looked up and asked officers: 'Are you going to take me home?' When the police asked the other boy who he was, he said simply: 'I am Shawn Hornbeck.'
With the burly, bearded Devlin under arrest, police have refused to comment on any specifics of the case, saying they are determined to collect enough evidence to put him behind bars for the rest of his life.
After being reunited with their parents, the boys were taken to a hospital for a check-up and both found to be healthy. 'They were smiling and appeared very pleased to be with their families,' said Bob Davidson, a spokesman for Cardinal Glennon Children's Hospital. 'Obviously the families were incredibly tickled to have the boys back. It's a thrilling night.'
Ownby's family were also stunned and relieved at the happy ending to the case. Ben's uncle, Loyd Bailie, described the boy's delight when he saw his parents. 'His eyes lit up like silver dollars,' Bailie said. The family had broken down in tears as they were reunited.
But the real focus of the story has been the stunning rediscovery of Shawn. From being widely assumed to be dead, suddenly he was walking out in front of a phalanx of TV crews and reporters at his old home town school.
Shawn walked on to the stage, which was festooned in posters and blue and yellow balloons, hand-in-hand with his mother, Pam Akers. He smiled nervously in front of the cameras. He said nothing to reporters but chatted quietly with his mother and stepfather, Craig Akers. Wearing a blue hooded top, he seemed healthy, although of course much older than the boy who featured on the missing posters after he first disappeared.
Craig Akers, his voice cracking with emotion, said the family had been driving home from work in a rainstorm on Friday afternoon when they had got the news that Shawn had been found alive and well.
The couple simply broke down in tears at the side of the road. 'It is the phone call I will remember most for the rest of my life,' he said. 'This is the best day of our lives. It is hard to even come up with words to express the feeling. It has been like a dream, and we are afraid that we are going to wake up.'
Amid the celebrations, there remains a huge mystery surrounding the case. No one knows for sure how Devlin abducted the two boys, and what he had been doing with them, especially during the four years he is believed to have kept Shawn - or why neither seems to have tried to escape.
Few details of their captivity have emerged. Craig Akers said that he believed Shawn had been kept in the same area for the entire period and had apparently not been to school. 'This has been going on for four years and it's been going on under our noses,' Akers said.
Neighbours at Devlin's suburban apartment said they had never noticed anything amiss. Rick Butler, who lives next door, told reporters that he had assumed Devlin and Shawn were father and son and had not noticed the arrival of the younger child.
He said he had seen no evidence that Shawn had ever tried to run away. On one occasion he had even found a mobile phone lost by Shawn and returned it to him. On another occasion, he had seen the pair pitch a tent in their yard. 'I didn't see or hear anything odd or unusual from the apartment. I just figured them for father and son,' Butler said.
For the Akers family, however, unravelling the mystery can come later. For now, they are rejoicing in the end of a nightmare.
Craig Akers had left his job as a software designer to devote his time to a foundation bearing Shawn's name. The family spent their savings, borrowed against their retirement and even talked to psychics in their quest to find their son. Volunteers and sniffer dogs had spent many hours searching for the missing boy.
But as the Akers adjusted to having Shawn home again, he said that throughout the long years of separation he had never given up dreaming of the day that the boy would be found. 'You can't lose hope,' he said. 'Hope gets you through. Sometimes this is what happens when you have that hope.'
Slowly, details of the saga have started to emerge. Shawn Hornbeck, 15, and Ben Ownby, 13, were found, together, in a suburban St Louis apartment. Hornbeck had been missing since October 2002. Ownby disappeared at the beginning of last week. Both seemed well - in fact, early signs were that Hornbeck did not even seem to have been held against his will - as they joined a tiny number of astonishing happy endings to kidnap tragedies in the past few years.
In rural Belgium, two young girls who were kidnapped and brainwashed by the serial killer Marc Dutroux in 1996 managed to survive, and testified at his trial in 2004. In Austria last year, 18-year-old Natascha Kampusch made international headlines after escaping from a man who had kidnapped and held her captive in a basement for eight years. When her abductor then threw himself in front of a train, Natascha appeared devastated by the news of his death, suggesting that she had developed so-called 'Stockholm Syndrome', or sympathy for her captor. 'To give you a metaphor, he carried me in his arms but also trampled me underfoot,' she said. And in the American West, a young girl named Elizabeth Smart was discovered alive and well in 2003, nine months after being kidnapped from her bedroom in Utah.

Keith Ambrose

That is his name.

That is the animal that did such horrible things to me as a child.

That is the name of the man who continues to offend.

That is the name of the man who inspired nightmares for most of my life.

That is the name of my TARGET!

KEITH AMBROSE

http://www.keith-ambrose.com

Watch The Fur Fly

A BLOG!

Yet another tool I can use to expose the Pedophile that assaulted me in my childhood.

I have decided that exposing this worm and bringing him to justice just isn't enough. I owe it to other victims to stop all Pedophiles.

Let the hunt begin!